MUSINGS
Assume the Best of Others
If we could assume the best of people, despite unpleasant behaviour, I bet we would find life to be far more benevolent and kind. What if someone does something that upsets us, making a sharp remark, cutting us off on the road, or not calling us back or some action that can be assumed as ignorant, unkind or not thoughtful. We have a choice on how we can interpret that behaviour. In truth, we have no idea what is going on for that person or what kind of life they have experienced up until now. Maybe a parent just passed away or they were diagnosed with an illness or their kid is in trouble? What would the world be like if we simply sent them compassion, if needed, and went about our way? It seems to me that the world is desperate for kindness, consideration and compassion. And really, it starts with each and every one of us making that choice to assume the best of others. I don't think it is in the big gestures so much as it is in the small ones. A smile in the grocery line up goes a long way. Blessings to you all, wherever you are in your life today!
Technology
Are you using your technology wisely or is it using you? Is technology serving you and connecting you in ways that are satisfying or is it more like an addictive drug that you can't put down?
Most people I speak to say they are too busy - often spending way too much time answering their emails, trying to keep up responding to their social media accounts. There is much that is wonderful about technology and obviously, it is here to stay. However, most people have just been going along for the ride mindlessly with no conscious thought about how they are using technology and the impact that it has on their lives. And it has a huge impact energetically!
Studies have shown that for most people, when they get a text on the phone, they get the same reaction as if they just ingested an opiate. Are you addicted? Can you take a break from all technology? For a day, a week? And not only that, I found the following even more fascinating. There are studies that show that there is a direct link between how much someone is connected technologically to how isolated they feel. The more connected they are, the more isolated. Those findings stopped me in my tracks. Apparently, we are less connected as a culture because our connections are more virtual and less in person now. We are relational beings and we need that person to person connection to feed our souls. How often have you seen a couple out for dinner, both on their phones? Or the family outing, all staring at a screen? Or groups of teenagers walking home from school, again not speaking but immersed in their technology? Again, I am not saying technology is bad. There is much to appreciate about it. However, have you ever had a conscious conversation with yourself about the technology you use and how to use it mindfully? How can you use your technology in the most beneficial way? That is a personal decision that will come from some conscious contemplation with yourself. Some people might find that being engaged a lot is worthwhile for them. For others, it will be much less. If we just become swept up by "it's just the way it is", then our technology is using us and we are losing precious time to be in real connections with others. Bringing some awareness to how we are using our time and attention is fundamental for living a mindful and conscious life that is most beneficial for all. Think about it, a real hug is just so much more healing and satisfying than an emoji hug!
Is Drama Really that Exciting?
Is the drama in your life really serving you? I know drama makes for a good story and can feel so life affirming at the time, but in truth, it is truly destructive! Drama sucks a huge amount of your precious energy and it is rampant and supported in our culture. When we overreact to circumstances, blame others for how life is, and make assumptions (consciously or unconsciously) about how life should be, we are creating unnecessary stress and conflict in our lives, and in the lives of those around us! Letting go of drama takes discipline and practice, but if you want to be happy and at peace, it is essential. Start by noticing when you are hanging onto a story, feeling wronged, blaming another or just in conflict. In that moment, you have a choice to be in drama or be in peace. This can be difficult because it can feel so juicy and exciting to hang on to being right! But in the long run, this harms you. The more you choose to be at peace and let it go, the more truly fulfilling your life becomes. And notice too when you are agreeing with the drama of another person. You serve people much more by not engaging in their story, even if it feels awkward or unkind. By staying out of the drama, you bring yourself and others into a space where there can be real resolution and peace. In the end, do you want to be right or do you want to be at peace?
The Risk of Social Media
We live in a world of distraction and social media is not helping. Texts, emails, and social media posts etc all pull us this way and that way. It is becoming increasingly difficult to enter into quiet, into stillness inside, and to just being present to what is right in front of you. What if someone is posting something really important, what if you miss out? I am not saying there is anything wrong with technology but we need to be aware of the costs of this technology to our peace of mind. Can you live for a day, a week, or a month without it? Can you readily tap into the stillness inside? Because it is this stillness that is at risk. And it is in the stillness where we come face to face with who we are. Spending some time with the truth of your being will be so much more helpful and fulfilling than spending time in other people's lives. Just a thought. May you have moments of stillness throughout your day!
The Gift of the Tough Times
When things get tough, we have a great opportunity for growth and healing. It is when we are falling apart, dealing with an illness, experiencing a loss or finally facing the truth about a relationship that is not working, that our egos get overwhelmed and a crack or gap emerges where we start to question life, question our beliefs, question our way of being. If we can be still, stay in the uncertainty of that gap, and stop ourselves from rushing to find an answer, then something else will emerge. It is difficult to view the tough times in our lives as a beautiful, albeit difficult, opportunity. However, when you do, you are coming from a much more powerful perspective rather than being a victim of your circumstances. You might just look back on that difficult time and be incredibly grateful!
Wisely Take Care of Yourself
Taking care of yourself is simply wise, not selfish as some seem to think. When you respect and honour your needs, you are far more capable of being of service in this world. We have all known that person who gives, gives and gives, and then drops of exhaustion or gets ill. A wise person takes care of themselves so that they can give of themselves in an appropriate and full way. We all need to eat well, sleep properly, rest as needed and have joy and play in our lives. When we are healthy and have energy reserves, we have so much more to offer those in our lives. In the end, taking care of yourself simply makes sense!
Making Deeper Connections
A deeper connection is always face to face, not on-line. It is pretty well established by research that if you want to be productive, go off-line so you can avoid the distractions and actually focus on what you are doing. And it is also true that if you want to truly connect with someone, show up and be with them in person. As we move into the fall and life speeds up, it is so easy to dash by your neighbour, wave from your car to a friend or simply go on-line to stay connected. But as life gets busy, it is so worthwhile to slow down, take the time to meet a friend in person, and engage with them in a meaningful way. As humans, we crave to be met by others in a real way. And when we give others some of our precious time to really be with them, even for 5 minutes, it is healing for both of you.
The “Joy” of Spring Cleaning
Spring is here and it is time for Spring Cleaning...was that a groan? Actually, if you simply take 10 minutes each day to de-clutter, you will make great progress. Why de-clutter? One of the biggest culprits of being stuck in our lives or experiencing stagnant energy is Clutter. Energy needs space to move! Clutter literally will block energy and impact our health, relationship, careers and prosperity. Clearing out your home and work environments, your body and your mind will help you feel calmer, grounded and far more energized. Notice how you feel when you walk into your office or your home. Do you feel comfortable, energized, clear? Or do you feel chaotic and overwhelmed? Take short periods of concentrated time to create the environments that will support you to be happy and healthy. This is also a great time to set goals to cleanse your body such as drinking more water, eating more vegetables, or cutting down on sugar. Give your body the boost it needs! And do not forget about your mind. Negative thought patterns can really clutter up our minds and cause stagnation in our lives. Notice your thoughts and clean up those that are not supportive and loving! Happy Spring Cleaning!
Conflict in the World
With so much conflict in the world, it is so easy to fall into fear, anger or panic. And yet it is in these times that we also see the beauty of the human spirit as people support each other on the street, on the internet and across nations, showing great compassion and tenderness towards one another. It is vital that we focus on these wonderful displays of the human spirit because it helps us continue to trust in the world and in each other. Fear makes us so small. Love and compassion make us big....and powerful!
Soar Like an Eagle
To soar like an eagle…can you imagine the perspective? I had the privilege of standing on a mountain peak recently and it made me think about perspective. In one direction, I could see my home and town, and beyond that, Mt. Assiniboine. In another direction, I was gazing on distant mountain tops and valleys yet to be explored. Somehow, seeing the peaks in the horizon and my 'life' at a distance melted the little stresses in my mind.
Perspective is so important when it comes to dancing with difficulties and obstacles in life. When you are in an argument with someone, try shifting to a broader perspective where you and that person no longer disagree but are aligned around something. What are you both serving? Is it your relationship, family, organization, community, a principle or higher truth? Re-enter that discussion coming from what you are both serving and notice how the conversation shifts. Differences can be amazingly fertile grounds for creativity if you are honouring something and not getting lost in being against another.
If you are ill, can you move to a perspective where you can see what you are learning through that experience? Can you honour health and healing and not focus entirely on the symptoms or disease? Many people comment that having an illness turned out to be an incredible learning experience for them. In the end, they were grateful for the changes their illness required, for learning how to honour their truth more, for learning how to be kind to themselves.
Whenever I find myself struggling, I remind myself to step back and look at the situation from a wider perspective. Not only do I usually see how to move forward but I am often gifted with more understanding, resulting in more possibilities opening up that I had not seen before. So if things start to look muddy, head for the skies and look down with an eagle's eye. May you soar with radiant health and radiant hearts!
Perspective Jolt
Get your perspective jolted! It's actually far more exciting than it sounds. I love to travel because being in another culture does make you rethink what you assume is normal. I was in the high Andes in Peru when I noticed that the indigenous people were grounded, something I do not often see in my hometown. I realized, being grounded is our natural state of being. In Italy, I see people everywhere taking time over their meals, enjoying the company of others and savouring their food and it struck me how healthy that is for digestion and feeling connected to your community. Yet often people rush through their meals or eat alone...and so many struggle with digestion issues. And so on... But we don't need to travel to have our perspective challenged. All we have to do is slow down, really take notice of others, engage in conversations that question our own well-established beliefs and be open to being surprised. We live in a culture where the norm is to shout your opinions from the rooftops but rarely encourages real dialogue and listening. When I take time to really listen, to suspend my beliefs, I find people fascinating. And what a wonderful way to live - to learn and be fascinated on a daily basis. So I encourage you to be open, to listen deeply, and to be present to the uniqueness and diversity around us.
Taking It Personally
Don't take it personally! Seriously, that is some of the best advice I have ever heard. Most issues and stresses come from taking something way too personally. The guy who just cut you off in traffic was not intending to upset you…he was distracted and in a hurry. Maybe the coworker who was abrupt during the meeting was simply having a bad day, didn't sleep well last night, or is worried about her daughter… who knows. Even that person who just verbally attacked you, you don't really know what is going on. Perhaps you just triggered some old response to an ancient wound. When you can distance yourself a little from a situation, you might be able to see that it is rarely about you and more often about that other person. From what I can see, people are generally kind. When they falter in kindness, it is often because they are wrapped up in their own world and not aware of the effect they have on others. They are taking themselves way too seriously! I am not saying that it is all right to be irresponsible for your actions, but when you allow others to do their thing without taking it personally, life becomes a whole lot more fun and filled with ease. Take a week and pay attention to when you start to take things personally, even your own health issues. You are not the only one with that issue and life is not out to get you. See how that perspective can alter your inner peace and happiness!
